'What swear words do you know in Canadian?': 20+ stupid things commenters regrettably said out loud

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Mar 18, 2024 3:00 PM EDT

We are all capable of supreme stupidity. Our neurons fire at such a rapid pace that of course something's going to gum up the works every now and then. Having a stupid moment (or as we blondes call them, blonde moments) can be vulnerable since we're all usually running around acting like we're so smart. I do this with directions all the time. I'm so bad at knowing my way around that, more than once, I've turned the wrong way leaving my childhood home. 

But nothing will beat the time that I genuinely thought, "I wish they would make external pockets you could wear with any outfit." A purse, girl. That's a purse. But it's good to know that I'm not alone-- that we all have these secret ditzy moments that speckle our histories. This Reddit thread compiles some of the best ones. They will make you feel less alone in your stupidity. 

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  • 01
    r/AskReddit u/Objective5550 • 14h What's the stupidest thing you ever said that genuinely made you question your intelligence?
    via u/Objective5550
  • 02
    BeKindlmNewButtercup 13h I said it would be nice if we had a "mirror app"!
    via u/BeKindlmNewButtercup
  • 03
    imadeacrumble • 11h "Oh look, it's a full sun out today"
    via u/imadeacrumble
  • 04
    TrainwreckMooncake. 13h "If there are adult diapers, why aren't there adult strollers?" My husband, looking at me like he regrets ever meeting me: "you mean wheelchairs??"
    via u/TrainwreckMooncake
  • 05
    HereticPrime97 • 13h "You hit me in the cervix!" I am a man. I meant sternum. Still have to shake that memory out of my head sometimes
    via u/HereticPrime97
  • 06
    MORE Orioliolios 12h I was on a long train trip, gazing out the window, when I said to my friend: "I feel like every railroad crossing gate we've passed since I've been looking has been down... what are the odds..." I have a PhD (not in trains).
    via u/Orioliolios
  • 07
    Not_AMermaid • 12h . One time I said I wish I could swim in the air & my friend said "You mean flying?"
    via u/Not_AMermaid
  • 08
    kitteh619 13h Not too much ice please, don't wanna water it down. (It was literally just a cup of ice water)
    via u/kitteh619
  • 09
    PLACE abbacuss 12h I was at a job interview for a baking job. The Interviewer asked me if I know how to bake. I told her no but I can read. Meaning I can follow the directions of a recipe.
    via u/abbacuss_
  • 10
    firfetir • 12h Years ago a coworker and I were discussing how many Japanese people apparently have a KFC dinner for Christmas. We then wondered "What do they do for Thanksgiving?" and began attempting to google it. Spent quite a few minutes trying to search it up, remarking to each other in confusion that we couldn't find anything at all. I then realized how incredibly stupid we were.
    via u/firfetir
  • 11
    AreHipposBitey • 12h My manager's manager asked me to ballpark the percentage of time I was spending on each of my three projects. I confidently told him: 75% on project A, 25% on project B, and 25% on project C. I heard my cubicle neighbor laughing (didn't immediately click that she was laughing at me). Manager's manager paused a moment, then in a very kind and patient voice (like he was speaking to a Labrador with a learning disability) "So, I'd like those numbers to add up to 100%. Can you tr
    via u/AreHipposBitey
  • 12
    ArtemisGirl242020 • 12h I don't know if this counts because praise the Lord I did not say it aloud. The scene: Me, a college senior still living in a dorm doing my weekly snacks and root beer run at the local Wal-Mart The thought: "Man, how do people with a whole family grocery shop? Like what do you do if you buy more than you can fit in your arms?" Carts. That's what carts are for.
    via u/ArtemisGirl242020
  • 13
    goldrising84 • 12h Claimed that the slowest animal is probably an enema. I misspoke and meant to say anemone. I'll never forget the looks of confusion from my coworkers
    via u/goldrising84
  • 14
    DustOfTheSaw • 13h I made a dentist appointment yesterday. They gave me a date and asked if 10:50 was a good time. I replied with "I'm assuming that is 10:50am..."
    via u/DustOfTheSaw
  • 15
    gdpinleoeee 13h I asked what half of 200 was. When I was given looks of "you're joking right?" I quickly realized what an idiot I really was.
    via u/gdpinleoeee
  • 16
    _JPH_⚫13h Had a friend in college whose sister was taking an ASL course. He started asking a question and I tried so hard to stop him because I could see the wheels spinning in his head. He asked, "So can you read Braille?"
    via u/_JPH_
  • 17
    EtherealPossumLady ⚫ 12h "it gives me testosterone" serotonin. i meant serotonin.
    via u/EtherealPossumLady
  • 18
    redneck_girlypop • 11h When planning a trip to America, I was very confused as to why google maps was refusing to give me a walking route to the Statue of Liberty. Turns out you can't walk to the Statue of Liberty because it's in the water
    via u/redneck_girlypop
  • 19
    No_Word_494 • 15h What is the name of the dog from schobby doo
    via u/No_Word_494
  • 20
    crazymom7170 • 13h Me: hi how are you Them: good how are you Me: good, how are you
    via u/crazymom7170
  • 21
    Efficient_Run63 • 12h My girlfriend asked me to put her clothes in the dryer and I got irritated and said "well where are they???"
    via u/Efficient_Run63
  • 22
    pureGoldie 12h • OK, here goes, I was going to be late for my Psychology class. The teacher had already warned me not to be late. What do I see in my rear view mirror on the way to class? You guessed it, I was speeding and it was Police lights! So I pull over and I give the Officer my drivers license, reg and ins. papers, and he seemed very friendly and nice, and he says I will be right back pureGoldie, Thats when i got real dumb, I said "Oh btw, will you write me a note for my teacher? Ive alre
    via u/pureGoldie
  • 23
    cloud_watcher • 11h Was really blanking on this casual friend's last name. I talk to them pretty regularly and everything. But I was just BLANK. Wouldn't come to me so had to go to Facebook and look it up. We have the same last name.
    via u/cloud_watcher
  • 24
    InvisblGarbageTruk ⚫ 12h I called my husband in a panic because I couldn't find my phone. I actually asked him if he knew where my phone was. His answer - ah..in your hand? So yeah.
    via u/InvisblGarbageTruk
  • 25
    Senpailydia 12h . I was in grade 1, had a Canadian girl come to my school, sprung up a friendship. Looked her dead in the eyes and asked. "What swear words do you know in Canadian" she tried to tell me multiple times it was the same words and I refused to believe her. I toss and turn at night knowing she probably tells people that now.
    via u/Senpailydia

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stupid memes human moment real life faith in humanity funny memes funny reddit askreddit humans human stupid people reddit thread Reddit funny stupid Stupid Human Tricks stupidity
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